Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
