put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
