he thought i was a dude.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
