You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
