Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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