He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
