Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
