I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
