Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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