totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
