love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
