i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
