Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
not ubering you a puppy
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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