When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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