my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I wear drunk well.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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