You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
