last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
