we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
