I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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