Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
