Can Purell be used as lube?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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