i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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