Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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