i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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