we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You have to summon your inner elephant
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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