its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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