We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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