was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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