ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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