There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
