Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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