I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yo dont text me then not text me
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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