You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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