i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
