There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
