If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
