What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
