That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
