eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
