yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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