I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Fuck appropriateness.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
