some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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