The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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