now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
