put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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