you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
