I cockslap morals
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize