Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
