And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
