I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
