She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
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I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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