DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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