I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You smell like stripper and shame
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
