i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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