Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am naked and annoyed.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
