I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
