I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
