Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
