Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Blood and glitter go together right?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
