Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
